The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Randomize
