R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
