that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
