I wish I could punch you in the face.
look no pants
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
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