hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
