But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
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