I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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