I'm lost and stupid without you.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize