I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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