I think i peed on brittanys purse
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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