Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize