I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
either way he was missing a nipple.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Who died my cat blue again?
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
