Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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