Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
