Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Dear god my vagina.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize