sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
either way he was missing a nipple.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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