marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
