gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
