absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
tell me about the eggs
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