Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
found the other keg... it's in the tree
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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