Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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