I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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