Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
