I should be sponsored by Trojan
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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