New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
