areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
