i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
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