i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
