escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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