I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
