One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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