The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
