bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I think your dad took our porno
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
