Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Randomize
