I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
