I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
i think i just lost a toe
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
