yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
