farters have to be the big spoon...
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
