I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
