I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
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