I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
He passed out mid-signature
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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