So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
