At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
just tell him i said nine months
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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