i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
