White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize