I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
