Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
