who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
