He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
