I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
i think my mom watched the whole time
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
My vagina just clenched in fear
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