I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
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