Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
