I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
wow bdsm is so cute
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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