She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Randomize