everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
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