a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
