Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
