I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
