i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
