1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
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