The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize
