it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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