You can't special order awesome
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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