I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
