um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
