sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
