Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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