no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Randomize