Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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